i solved the jump issue, it seems like not setting the gravity scale in the jump method caused an issue where it went from 0 to 7 like a litttle bit later and it caused like a sprint (?) anyway i solved everything,
right now the only “issue” is this collision thing even if unlike the other ones i can let it a little bit more as a “working progress” or like a “ok i’ll be happy as it is” because i’m a little tired and it’s not like it doesn’t really work , it’s just a little unprecise mh 
wherever i looked through the web everyone suggest what we did, i didn’t think a good ladder would have been so difficult to make
the only thing i can think of is to make some sort of invisible layer , with invisible cubes with box colliders which would activate only when i’m up the ladder/ not on it/not pressing down/ so that when jumping i would collide to it and then deactivate it. now that i think on this it could be a really good idea
it seems like this guy did something similiar
Ladder Climb: Turning the Mega Challenge into an Uber Challenge - Unity Courses / Show - GameDev.tv
the only problem would be that i should manually put everytime this on top of an existing ladder 