Sunday Adventures

Just uploaded my first attempt at a text adventure - so please be gentle guy :wink:

http://www.sharemygame.com/share/89a1fda2-f7f4-427a-a2c7-dbf93d8a415b

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Hi Henrik,

Well done on completing this section of the course and publishing your game! :slight_smile:

You have written a nice story there, I appreciate English may not be your first language, so overlooked a few typos. I would suggest spacing out your text a little though, it will really help with the readability. In some states you do this, in others you don’t, here’s a couple of examples;

Not spaced out, harder to read

Spaced out, easy to read

In addition you have a few states where it looks like you may have copy/pasted the text in from somewhere else, as such, it has kept the formatting, so a lot of your sentences are truncated which again makes it a little harder to read;

image

From your Game Over state I was given options to start again, however, from your Win state, e.g. having had the teenagers arrested, I was presented with no options, yet I pressed “1” and was taken to a blank state.

Aan option to restart/play again might be useful there. With WebGL you’re players won’t appreciate having to press F5 on their keyboards :slight_smile:

I hope the above is of use, they are really only minor things and very easy to update should you want to.

Again, well done on competing this section of the game and publishing your own game!

I like to think that Bumle may be your own dog, if so, you could include a picture of him/her when the player wins! :slight_smile:

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Dear Rob,
Thank you very much for your very usefull input ! - much appreciated :smiley:
Have a nice sunday mate.

Henrik

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You’re very welcome, and you too! :slight_smile:

I have updated the game taking into consideration the very good pointers from Rob.
The revised version is now here:
http://www.sharemygame.com/share/256c5df5-d6e5-4a2f-b35a-b9f546ea3324

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Hi Henrik,

That is so much easier to read now with the spacing adjusted and the sentences not chopped off early, it really does make a huge difference and increases the enjoyment of your game.

I was utterly delighted to see a photo of Bumle at the end too - really glad you added that extra personal touch - well done :slight_smile:

(the little red ball with Bumle was a lovely touch too!)

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