You obviously love to write, I can clearly see that. What I’m about to say it’s from a game design perspective, not from a writer’s perspective.
Some of the decisions make no sense at all, not all of them, just some. Example;
I honestly don’t know why passing out is a choice, it’s weird. I also kinda get it, it’s a sort of trap, but it might cause issues with the players attitude towards the game, having this sort of “trap” decisions can make the player take the game a lot less serious, making it pick the “fun” choices just for… well… fun, which might be intended, so, there are several question you should answer when doing a game as big as this one.
What’s the player experience you are aiming for? Is this a serious tale? I’ve seen that is kinda weird, a path takes you to boss battles and other to… eating delicious dumplings, which is weird, I love dumplings btw. I’m actually quite pleased with what I read, but, Is that the intention? Is that what the player should experience?
Again, from a game design perspective, try not to forget you are making a game, try to answer that question “What’s the player experience going to be like?”, that’s your first priority, after that is just about tuning your story. I’m telling you this because I’ve seen a lot of writers get carried away with the plot and forget the actual limitations of what they are doing. That’s the only feedback I can give you right now, but please do tag me when finishing your game, I’l gladly play it so I can give more in depth feedback.