Very nice Dominic and well done for getting through this section of the course and actually sharing your game - awesome.
Couple of minor things…
- There are a few typos in your text, and missing or extra spaces
- Italics are used through-out, although this may help the reader more if you use them only when the protagonist is perhaps thinking/speaking
- There is a change in perspective, e.g. “you are” to “I am” during the story (once you get outside)
- At the beginning, you only know you are in a room, but one of your options gives away that you are in a cottage (“Return to the cottage”) before you are outside to see that you were in a cottage
- The cottage is later referred to as a house, with a written adventure like this, a lack of consistency can make it confusing for the player, e.g. is there a house and a cottage? Have I missed the house? How do I get to the house?
- Looking at the lantern the option is to return to the cottage, but this doesn’t take you inside the cottage as per the other option, just back to being outside of the cottage, perhaps just change this text to “Back”
I like that you played with the states in such a way that you can return to the cottage to collect something that you missed previously, that’s a clever idea and not one I have seen anyone add previously, well done, great to see something unique like this.