Definitely a little rough, but not to atrocious from a first time drawer… I think
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Try to draw from the shoulder, using a soft line.
Draw over and over this soft line, correcting the shape.
These soft lines become a darker line.
Then draw over this dark shape.
It’s not a challenge to draw it in one line.
But gradually (using multiple soft shapes) build the shape up.
The same for the shading.
Practice is the key, have fun!
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Hello, thanks so much for the feedback! It actually helped me out a lot.