Drug Den Rescue - feedback plz?

http://www.sharemygame.com/share/438c8436-c428-4264-9e2d-dbc013103a29

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Hi Daniel,

Well done on completing the section and publishing your game - awesome! :slight_smile:

You asked for some feedback, so here goes;

  • Typos - there are quite a few. If you have access to Microsoft Word, you could copy/paste and correct, if not, there will be online tools available that can help
  • Punctuation - “What do you do next.” should be “What do you do next?” etc
  • Paragraphs - the story is in quite large blocks which don’t offer the reader a break, separating paragraphs would be easier for the player to read and thus keep them engaged
  • Text alignment - full justified may also be a little more visually pleasing
  • Player choices - I would suggest spacing these out from the main story text to make them clearer, including the questions in the last sentence of each story part, e.g. “What will you do?” is separate text from the story with the options listed underneath.
  • Number pad support - currently only the main numeric keys work for your options, you could consider including support for the number pad also
  • Related states - if you choose to check out the door, then the barking dog, you can return to the door, and then back to the dog in an infinite loop effectively, the story doesn’t change. You could consider adding more states to cope with this, perhaps after checking for the barking dog, and returning to the door the option to check for the dog has gone, perhaps the story text now updates and doesn’t mention the dog, or, have the story text change when the player revisits the “check the barking dog” state.
  • Play again? - when you attack the guy at the gates, you end up being knocked unconscious, and you lose the game, but there is no option to play again - so the only choice is either to not to play again, or F5 to reload the browser, which then requires the game to be fully reloaded.

The above are all fairly minor points, the spelling, grammar and text alignment are really just polish, but something that should be considered, as by not doing so you’ll get players like myself who will spend endless time looking for all the typos rather than being engaged by the story :slight_smile:

The states are fairly easy to expand upon and will provide the player with a richer experience, so consideration for those where you have options that take the player round in circles should be given.

The restart or play again issue is an easy one to forget, but also an easy one to fix, this will greatly benefit your player’s experience. Your player will learn how to play your game and at the moment you teach them that they have to press F5 and reload the entire game, and more importantly, they have to wait. I was happy to do this a few times because you had asked for feedback and I wanted to provide some, but outside of those reasons I wouldn’t be willing to keep pressing F5 to reload a game.

You have a both interesting and engaging story, I know you will invariably want to move on with the course, but it would be great to see an updated version of this game with a little bit of polish applied, this will really let your players enjoy your creativity and writing.

I hope the above is of use :slight_smile:

Thank you very much for your reply and feedback, you’ve made some very good points. Much appreciated.

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You’re very welcome Daniel, my pleasure :slight_smile:

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