Star Trader TFD - Intro Caption Feedback?

Hey there. I’m posting here as part of the How to Share Projects section.

I’m refining a slideshow for the introduction for Star Trader: The Folded Dimension. Final version will have sounds and some animation to enhance the text.

I’ve ten captions that I’d like feedback on. Hopefully if paired with proper images, they serve as an interesting opening to the game.

I currently have some very rough sketches around the captions to show how I am fleshing them out. They’re somewhat bad at this stage. Please keep in mind that they’ll be improved and adjusted to more closely match the text.

I’m down to have advice on how to illustrate the captions better, but please keep in mind I’m most concerned about the captions flowing and reading well, so I don’t spend too much time sketching dead ends. :wink:

Do they read well? Is this a good approach to a game prologue?

What background details am I missing that you’d like to know up front before the opening level of the game?

7/16 UPDATE: Sweet! I commissioned some concept art to replace my rough sketches. Some of the new thumbnails are up :smiley: